This page is a quote from the UNAIDS study Investing in our Future, Psycho Social Support for Children Affected by HIV/AIDS from Tanzania and Zimbabwe, pg 50

Making a Memory Book

Another tool for communication is the Memory Book, which was recently introduced in Zimbabwe. Originating in Uganda, the memory book is a journal of facts and memories for children who are facing loss or separation from a parent, including divorce, any terminal illness or adoption, and it is appropriate for any culture or background. If children are separated from their parents, memories and identity tend to fade. The Memory Book is an attempt to keep the memories alive and strengthens the child’s sense of belonging.

The parent or caregiver fills in information and personal stories under different headings, including “My favourite memories of you,” “Your health,” “Information about your father,” “Family traditions and special events,” and “The family tree.” As the introduction of the book states, it helps “children to understand the past and move on to a more secure future.” It is a photocopiable resource, which makes it affordable and easy to distribute to parents and carers.

There are various ways of completing the memory book. The parent can complete it and then go through it with the child or the child can help in its completion. An important aspect of the book is that the child has the opportunity to ask questions about its history and future. If the parent wishes, the book can include input from other family members, photographs and other memories to remind the children of life before the separation from their family.

The Memory Book is a tool to help the parent and the child to deal with the past, present and future of the child. As it is common for orphaned children to be moved into a different area, the book serves as a reminder of their roots so they do not lose their sense of belonging. Disclosing the parents’ HIV status is not the main goal of the book, but it does allow the opportunity to talk about HIV and facilitates disclosure to other family members.

The book is also beneficial with regard to HIV prevention, because the children witness and understand the ordeal the parent is going through and do not want to repeat it. Mothers in Zimbabwe who have learned about the Memory Book from the Positive Women’s Network say it made them aware of their children’s fears about the future. By discussing the book, they were able to talk about who the child can turn to with questions and problems, and their children could be part of the decision on where they will live after the bereavement, both of which empower the children by giving them choices. Talking about death ahead of time affords the children the opportunity to test the decision of where to live over the holidays to see if it would actually work.

alking to children about death and dying is difficult for all parties involved. It brings out sensitive issues that the parent may not be ready to deal with. For example, one mother was filling out the Memory Book when she came to the page on the history of the father and said, “How do I tell my child about his father if I don’t even know who he is?” This and other similar problems indicate a need for additional counseling for parents while working on the book or of adapting the book format.